Christmas Day pt. 2

Hello! I'm back!

Well, anyway, i've never actually read the book; A Christmas Carol, so my comparisons may be a bit slightly off to your opinion on it, well, those who have read the book, and those who have processed the movie in a complete different way to how i remember viewing it as. My point is, anyhow, is that the movie was based during the Victorian era, where Great Britain was a country of industrial factories - very different to the very nice country we see today. Anyway, well, those that were living below the poverty line, well they actually enjoyed christmas, and that was because they spent it with their families, not literally spent their money!! So that's my point. So i hope you've all had a great christmas, with your families, not worrying about anything else, because you should cherish every single moment you share with your family... and how do i know this? Well, past me never cherished or took for granted of the moments spent with my family, and here I am today, separated from them at christmas, and yes, i only blame myself, and i believe in karma, and i believe this is karma, and i believe all i can do right now is be patient.

Anyway, i genuinely had a good day today. That christmas spirit was still lacking, i must admit, but that's because i wasn't with the rest of my family back in england, i believe so. Went out to the mall to eat pizza with some visiting friends from Hong Kong. Had a christmassy starbucks drink. Got to window shop. Pretty chill I believe.

Anyway, last reminder, if you're right now doing what i'm doing; browsing the internet with no absolute life at all, get out there and make your christmas. If you're in a situation like me (AND many others!), call up a family member, go out to a christmassy pub, do whatever that makes your heart filled with such warmth.

Christmas Day

Firstly, i would like to festively wish everyone a merry christmas! I hope you are all out there, spending the most joyful time with your family, eating roast chicken (as i prefer to - i don't like turkey), cracking christmas crackers, and playing charades or scrabble.

As only some places in the world are prone to having a white christmas, i know that those that live in the much more warmer regions may think that this will affect their christmassy spirit - especially those who originate from the colder regions, and have migrated to areas where snow is not a possibility. However, as i've stated before, i believe that in order to feel that spirit, you only need the love from your family and maybe a board game to bond over..., but that is all. As to the current economy crisis, debt should not effect your vibe. And how do i know this? Well, as a child, my grandad introduced me to the best possible christmas movie ever - A Christmas Carol. Now, i'm talking about the black and white original one, not the latest jim carrey one, but if you can't get hold of the original, the jim carrey one isn't that bad etiher. And the plot i think, is based during the victoria era.. if i'm not mistaken, where the difference between rich and poor was immense and poverty levels were just absurd... well from what i know of by reading books based during the time, during my english classes (i'm useless with history, seriously). Yet, in a christmas carol, Scrooge's assistant, forgot his name but his sick son is called tiny tim, well, he was quite frankly poor, yet he had the time of his life at christmas, and that was because he was with his family...

Anyway, i will continue later, as i am about to spend my christmas at a mall, in jakarta, with a bunch of muslims.

Christmas

I am lost. I don't feel like myself anymore. The young naive girl I used to be. So lost in my own imagination. Now I feel as if i've triggered my own thoughts to be so cynical. I used to be an excited little girl, so happy at christmas time. I woke up at 4 in the morning just to open presents, Dad would make hot chocolate for me and sara, Teddy would be wagging his tail, My beautiful grandma would smother us with love, Grandad would be standing over us watching with pride, and mum would be helping out grandma with christmas dinner. It was just so warm and happy. Just very very happy. You know, i actually felt that Christmas vibe. But now i feel as if that christmassy feeling has been taken away from me, year by year. I'm a festive person. I like celebrating things that bring the family together. I am nothing without my family, but now i feel as if i've lost them all. As if i can't do anything to bring it all back. Family makes this special feeling, and now i don't know where any other them are. I don't know where they are. We're all just wandering in our own little lives. This year, i literally feel nothing. We're well into december, and christmas eve is tomorrow. Lat year, to this exact date, i forced myself to lift that christmas spirit within me, although it didn't miraculously make a big difference as it was only me again, celebrating christmas alone. I feel so wrong though. Christmas is a time for family. It always has been, and i want to spend christmas with my family - but i can't. But it's not only me living this situation, i think everyone who has been affected by the latest economical recession, lacks the christmas spirit. The current crisis is probably the biggest push factor to the lack of spirit at christmas. No one is happy. Everyone is stressed. But it shouldn't matter! What i'm trying to say, is that to celebrate christmas, you really don't need to go out and spend a lot of dosh. Who gives a flying fuck if you can't have a massive turkey for the center piece of your dinner platter - it's a dry and dull type of bird to eat anyway! What matters is that you are with your family, having a happy time, playing monopoly or scrabble - making your kids happy. As a child, christmas psychologically made my brain melt with such warmth of happiness, and yes, a factor is presents, but it was also the togetherness of the family. Pulling christmas crackers and wearing those ridiculous paper crowns, playing charades and scrabble, watching a christmas carol, going to watch the nativity play, etc. You don't need wads of money to do all that, that's the thing! Yes, the economy may have made us all very stressed, living conditions and all that jazz, but why should it have to affect your christmas? Literally, all i want to be doing right now is to spend christmas with my grandparents and sister, but i physically can't because of transportation and shit. If borderline control systems weren't so strict, i would hitch hike to get to england - i'm not even kidding. I'm just so far away. On the other side of the fucking planet. If i lived in france, i'd swim the fucking channel to get to england. But i'm on the other side of the planet, so it basically almost makes it impossible.

SLA

You are about to read a post that not many siblings would write about their own brother or sister, because there is rarely any public affection between siblings, but my sister means the world to me. She is beautiful in so many ways that I applaud her for. It's her wit which helps me through situations i am not aware of, her very rare affection which makes my heart filled with warmth, her confidence which inspires me, and so many more positive influences she has made on me. I have seen the trust in family members come and go so many times these past couple of years, but the trust i have with her has remained since the day i ever understood her - even if she does make the most annoying decisions sometimes! She is my hero, and i wouldn't have gotten to this mental strength without her. Without her, i'd be in a mental hospital having a nervous break down. She never let's me down when i need a shoulder to cry on, or someone to tell me to not worry when i start worrying like my old grandmother. I trust a very little amount of people in life now, some may call it trust issues or whatsoever, but there are so many evil people in the world nowadays which never fear to backstab people, but my sister is not one of them. We are thousands of miles apart separated geographically by a massive stretch of land and a few channels, gulfs, seas and an ocean here and there, but it has made us closer. The relationship i have between my sister is something so special to my heart - something I will be devastated at if lost. My sister is my hero and I love her more than anyone.

The City Lights

I looked out the window on the 35th floor to see the most spectacular view of specs of light. Like massive stars making up another galaxy billions of light years away from earth. I played with my eyes a little, adjusting the focus. The comparison of how this city looks like during the day compared to that of night is too immense to even compare. Even the break lights on cars stuck in traffic looked amazing. The entire city glowed beautifully, but i know i'd wake up to a view of man-made destruction - something that was invisible during the night on the 35th floor. I would wake up to a view of yellow smog, car exhaust filling the air and a grey atmosphere.

I don't understand how people can completely flip the entire situation and make it seem as if it's now their biggest problem in the world when it only very discreetly regards them. The world doesn't revolve around you as an individual, you selfish beast.

A man disappointed because his wife just gave birth to a baby girl. The wife crying with tears of joy, the man actually crying.